Beauty School Up-Do

After breakfast, we stumbled upon a beauty school in Pittsburgh. An up-do was only $15. The price was right for me!


My student couldn't find the up-do book. And an instructor had to come and show her how to get it done. Donna said the students often took the up-do books home. So I had to tell them what kind of style I wanted. I had no earthly idea.


Donna was pretty insightful. When getting an up-do, I imagine it makes the experience all the more worth while when you discuss relationships.


A lot of ratting and hairspray.



More ratting and hairspray.


Ah. Perfection.


I was told to wrap toilet paper around my "do" before I went to sleep. I'm not sure if it really made a difference or if I did it in the correct spot. Still, I liked having an excuse to wrap TP around my head. I highly recommend it.

Trust me your flaws ain't that bad

How come the minute I got back to L.A. I felt all blobby and ugly and awkward? Maybe cause I just spent a month eating and drinking my way across the country and only went running once. But dang, I didn't think that way while on the trip. On the trip I enjoyed every day as it came at me and didn't get all negative thoughty-like. I am going to get those feelings back. Just have to work at it.

Not surprisingly, during our trip we found that most people are obsessed with their own perceived flaws. They see bad things in themselves no one else notices. This is what leads to spending lots of moola on creams and lotions and getting people to operate on you or inject botulism into your head. No judgements, I am the worst when it comes to creams and stuff. Anyway I drew my perceived flaws.

This made me feel all bad so I decided I should do the opposite. This was much nicer and made me feel better. Doing the opposite of negative thinking really does make you feel good. I am practicing this from now, thinking positive first instead of thinking bad first. Below is a drawing of my good stuff.

Remember this, no one sees your flaws but you and if someone does point them out then they are being crappy and who cares what crappy people think.

Nails: Pros n' Cons

Hey we are on the 2nd to last day of our trip. YAY. Yesterday we had an AMAZING time in Kansas City, which I will get to later. I want you to know that this blog will go on despite the trip ending on Saturday. There is so much stuff we have not shared. It won't be in order, but who cares? Right?

OK so I got these nails in Pittsburgh. I am not sure how I feel about my hot pink, sparkly, airbrushed lady nails, so I thought I'd write down the pros and the cons of these dang thangs.

PROS
Kinda pretty
Good for scalp massage
Flirty
Guys will open things for you
Scratching stuff is easier
Makes typing hard so people won't ask you to do it (this would be a con if you like typing)

Hand puppets on your hand is way cuter

Pointing is more dramatic
Makes nice tapping noises
Express your individuality through airbrush n' color!
Not good for hard labor so don't do hard labor
Picking a Uke is so rad with fancy nails

You can't open Slim Jims
Lady like
Holding things looks nicer




CONS
Can't open stuff
Grabbing things is not easy
Zippers hard
They get caught on stuff and bend backwards. Yow!
Food gets stuck under
Can't perform surgery
Can't dial cell phones
Typing hard (could also be a good thing)
Makes you a little helpless
Lady like
Nose picking impossible and GROSS
Even though you look cool picking the Uke, the sounds aren't good
Contact lenses impossible to take out
Nails can't breath
OB Tampons (ewww) I won't explain (not my bag)
No teeth picking
Slows down the digging thru purse process
Painting ruins them
Annoying
Makes it looks like you don't work hard

So I don't know. What do you think? Is it more beautiful to have lady nails or can I go back to normal?

Pittsburgh Nails

Martha and I had acrylic nails put on at Bobby's Nails in Pittsburgh, PA. It took half and hour each and cost about $35-45 each. First you are fitted with plastic crazy ass long nails that are glued onto the tips of your nails.



Bobby's Nails was run by a sweet family. Mom started us off and soon her daughter Thanh came in to do the paint work. Thanh was a wise soul taking journalism. "Some people who get their nails done are trying to fill in something that is missing in their lives. But beauty is really who you are inside."



It is hard to get used to. I can't play the ukelele or even tune it with these nails. How does Dolly Parton do it? Did't her long nails even inspire the song "9-5" while she was tapping on her guiltar? One thing these nails are good for is shampooing my hair. I can give myself a great scalp scrub.



We were told the most popular colors were black and gold for the Steelers football team. There were airbrushed nails with images of palm trees, skulls, and even beloved Jesus, but you had to wait for the dad to come in to do the fancy airbrush.



Martha's zombie hands don't look quite like the "I love nails" poster on the wall. Maybe she just needs to be holding diamonds and jewels.

Last Day in Beauty City

It is our last day in Paris, a most beautiful city! We'll be leaving tomorrow morning very early. Despite the wonderful time we have had here, I am feeling a bit homesick. It'll be nice to be able to use my cell phone again, although it has been good for me to not be obsessively checking things. I should learn from this. It'll also be nice not to feel like a big dummy when trying to converse. Je voudrais un vert de vin rouge is all I can muster. Oh and... bonjour, bonsoir, et merci madames ou monsieur, can't forget those. Dang that's it! I need to learn a new language.

I'd like to say we discovered some earth-shatteringly new about beauty from the French, so far not yet, maybe we will, it might come to me later. There is still time. I saved going into one of the Pharmacies here for today. They seem to have magical creams and lotions in them, we'll see what happens. Maybe there will be a cream to cure wrinkles? Or maybe I should just leave my wrinkles alone? I'll let you know once I go in, what things I find.

Here are some random images for now. The picture above is from a beauty shop across the street from our hotel. They have red velvet stanchions and a guard outside the front to keep the riff-raff out. Each of the heads (there are many adorning the building) has a rainbow sheen when you walk past. Very fancy! I would be scared to go in though. Intimidating rainbows and beauty guards.

This is a crepe-making man. He looks super pissed to be making crepes. There definitely should be crepe stands in Pasadena. So good, yummy and simple. Why not? Hey how about a crepe truck? Tacos and crepes! Culture merge.

McDonald's in Paris is not beautiful. Supposedly there is free wifi in all McDonald's, but I just couldn't bring myself to go in. It seems like it would burn to set foot in Micky D's, like a vampire and holy water. Just not right, you know? I also counted FOUR Starbuck's in the Latin Quarter. NOOOOOO!

Not sure who these guys are on the brownie yogurt packages. I am guessing soccer players. Soccer players really make me want to eat brownie-flavored yogurt. The packaging here is CRAZY. Esther has been going to the super markets every day. So very different from Von's. She has found some fantastic things. So anyway this is just a taste. I have MUCH more to share once I get back home.

We are all the same on the whole for sure

I have had more time to hang out in Paris, but still haven't met a lot of Parisians so my thoughts are based on walking around with a bunch of Americans. Not that that is a bad thing. So my take as of day three is, people here are stunning, but they must have the same hang ups as us. I base this on the amount of flaw-correcting places I have come across strolling dans les Rues.

Suck in that gut and get some booty junk all up in your grill.

Brussez les dentes 90210 style.

Kick it lice. This is so NOT American. American's would never admit to lice.

That dude don't need nuttin. And you ain't gonna look like that with a laser on ya. That's for sure.

Please stop smoking. Yes.

See, they want lift too.

One good thing is that the naked boob is not something to be shocked by. I still can't understand the mindset behind all the fear of boob in the U.S. Boobs are good!

OK so I'll stop. Trying to meet some real French people for the real scoop. Sorry there is no art. I did not bring my scanner over here.

I am a walking cliche

OK so Paris is fricking BEAUTIFUL! I said it. Sooo cliched I know. The light is beautiful, the people are beautiful, the architecture is beautiful, the food, the breezes, the language, even the wine is beautiful. Damn. I wanted to be original, discover a pimple on the legend, but so far I can't. Well maybe here is one.

I have seen a lot of graffiti mostly bad, but there was some beautiful graffiti out near the airport that you can see from the train into the city. They used unusual colors. Lots of pinks and yellows. Very different from L.A. and NYC.

But back to beauty, what I have noticed about the women is that they look fresh and clean, minimal, natural beauty. Maybe there is a part of town where people are prone to heavy blue eyeshadow, penciled-in eyebrows, dark black eyeliner and frosty pink outlined lips, but I haven't been there yet. I'd like to go there, but as of now I have only been in the 6th and 7th arrondisements.

The men are put together and handsome, young and old, even though many are smoky smoky. No slobs in the lot. It appears effortless. Granted I am only seeing the surface. I don't know if there is a different attitude about beauty. I have noticed just as many wrinkle cream ads and beauty treatment places as the U.S. and there are the usual women's magazines with skinny glamourous models everywhere. Tomorrow I will be meeting new people and maybe I can find out more. Dig a little deeper. For now here are some pictures.

Our waiter pouring Kir Royales at Les Deux Magots to go with my croque monsieur. Touristy but quite nice.

This light is at 9:30 pm! Unbelievable.

The people at the end of the road had their giant window wide open so you could peak into their home.

A strange mannequin in a window.

I thought these were soaps, but they are macaroons. Who knew? Even the cookies are beautiful. Jerks! OK that graffiti was probably by someone from the U.S.

I am going to rent one of these tomorrow. My feet are already killing me. I am wimpy. Here is something funny. I am watching Fatal Attraction in French, trying to figure out what they are saying. Je ne seront pas ignorés!